50 reasons it’s great to be a tourist

With their worldly sophistication, cheap fisherman pants and penchant for being smiley all the time, tourists are a much-hated group.   But before you laugh too hard at the lost look in their eyes, or mock too much the clattering chaos of their attempts to board the roof of a minibus with five bags and three cameras swinging from their torsos, understand this: they don’t care.   They’re having the time of their life. And we all know why. Being a tourist is awesome.   Let us know why being a tourist works for you. Comment below.   bangkok tourist Color clash -- the uniform of tourists everywhere.

1: You get to go on and on and on about how amazing India/Paraguay/France is without actually having to live there.

2: You can eat like a feudal lord every night, and still lose weight from all the walking.

3: Whether you’re terrifying yourself on local transport or basting yourself in the sun next to a bag of beer, it beats what your friends are doing back home.

4: Freedom from the tyranny of socks.

5: The guilt attached to not utilizing your gym subscription is way less severe than it is back home.

6: You can ensure you return home looking svelte and lean by seeking out the town’s dirtiest street vendor on the penultimate night of the trip.

7: Visiting a foreign country is way more stimulating than staying at home all year. And if you don’t like it, you can at least sound exotic when you moan about it.

8: Cold beers on the beach/in a hammock/in bed/in a bar/on a road trip in the middle of the afternoon? Don’t mind if I do.

9: Breakfast buffets. Fresh fruit and muesli then hash browns and sausages then perhaps some blue cheese and ham. It doesn't make sense, but so what? You’re on holiday.

10: If you don’t like someone, you never have to speak to him/her again -- unlike the person who sits next to you at work.

11: Bringing home a tan and worldly knowledge is like dousing yourself in pheromones. Just be sure to cover up with mosquito spray, to avoid unsightly welts.

12: No matter how linguistically challenged you are, the words “beer,” “toilet” and “hotel” work nearly everywhere.

13: Getting drunk excused under the guise of “testing the merits of local brews over homogenous imports.”

14: It’s easy, in fact it’s imperative, to flick the off switch on the depressing news and awful TV shows that otherwise fill your life.

15: If you’ve got any sense, your destination of choice will be significantly cheaper than your own country.

16: If you look as if you’re going to spend some money, even locals who don’t like tourists will pretend they do.

17: You can finally finish that book you’ve been falling asleep with every night for the last three months.

18: You can bolster your social networking cred by Facebook-friending lots of exotic foreigners.

19: The weather. Even the rain seems somehow exotic when abroad.

20: The buzz you get walking around a new place knowing you're not at work is one of life’s greatest highs.

21: You can get a foot massage every day without anyone thinking you’re a fetishist.

22: You can finally wear those expensive sunglasses without fear of looking like a poser.

23: In fact, you can wear anything. Baggy Thai pants with a singlet? Go on, no one will bat an eyelid.

24: You can indulge passive-aggressive tendencies by posting lots of pictures on Facebook of yourself paragliding or surrounded by Hawaiian dancers or [insert jealousy-inducing image here].

25: You learn about the country you're visiting through experience, rather than National Geographic.

26: Stories about eating still-beating snake hearts and downing tequila straight from the bottle are pretty rock ‘n’ roll.

27: You finally get to use those foreign phrases you learned in junior school, like “Voulez vous couchez avec moi, s’il vous plaît?”

28: There’s a good chance you’ll be allowed to smoke cigarettes indoors.

29: Happy hour is actually worthwhile -- half-price drinks starting just before sunset and extending for at least two hours.

30: An afternoon siesta is not just acceptable, it's a necessity.

31: You get to try local specialities previously only seen on TV: balut (Philippines), fried monkey toes (Indonesia), tete de veau (calf’s head, France) and roasted ants (Columbia).

32. Those childish antics people get up to in pictures -- fingertips on the top of the Eiffel Tower, posing with fake gladiators at the Coliseum -- yep, you get to do them too now. Cool.

33: The lack of decent television channels in your mother tongue means you’ll have no choice but to go out and enjoy life.

34: Taking part in a drunken karaoke session becomes an appealing prospect.

35: The nearest you get to cooking is pointing at the fish you want grilled for your dinner.

36: You can slob out safe in the knowledge that someone else is getting paid to make everything spotless for you again the next day.

37: The local eye candy is exotic and different.

38: You get to mingle with a range of nationalities. Then escape them the next day.

39: Your sense of appreciation for your surroundings returns.

40: You get to buy silly hats, small plastic mementos and other ridiculous trinkets without guilt, because they were designed specifically for you.   vang vieng tourists Planes, trains and inner tubes: life of a true traveler.

41: With minimal effort -- such as sending a postcard -- you make your friends and relatives think you really care.

42: You can feign incomprehension when a suspicious taxi driver tries to convince you that a 10-minute journey really does cost US$75.

43: Those 1980s iPod playlists you compiled especially for the trip go down particularly well with others.

44: You get to mock other tourists who say things like, “By discovering the world, I am actually discovering myself.”

45: If you travel long enough, you get to say things like, “By discovering the world, I am actually discovering myself.”

46: Write something nice about a bar on TripAdvisor on your first night and you might never have to buy a drink for the rest of your stay.

47: Tanned fat looks better than pale fat.

48: You get to wantonly fritter away money with the sudden knowledge that experiences are so much more valuable than things.

49: Whether it’s sniffing out a great sunset spot or a backstreet bar or restaurant, there are always new discoveries on the horizon.

50: You can finally jettison your mobile phone and laptop without stress. Phileas Fogg wasn’t online for hours at a stretch every day and neither should you be.

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By 9jatravel / Administrator, bbp_keymaster

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on Jul 17, 2015

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